Co-sleeping and transitioning to their own bed

Are you thinking about co-sleeping and are getting feedback from well meaning friends and family that includes? "They will never want to leave!" " You will be stuck with them in bed with you and you will have a hard time getting them out." As well as other comments that make you question your gut telling you to sleep next to this helpless newborn who needs you to nurse them every 10 minutes. 

First off, what 18yr old is still in bed with their parents? So obviously its not a life long commitment! I am not going into the reasons why you should co-sleep that is another post for another day. This is more the 'How do I transition them to their own bed?" type post.

1. When they are ready, they go.

Honestly I could end this blog post right here. Because that is the sum of it all. Just like anything, kids do it eventually when THEY are ready to do them, its so much easier if we let them tell us. Crawling, walking, potty training and sleeping on their own are all bundled together in that category in my book. (obviously if you child is not meeting the milestones and you have questions talk to a professional about that)  You can force, con and cry about it but in the end they do it when they are ready.

2. Natural Independence

We all have an internal need for independence as we grown into adults. Babies do too! They need us, then they don't! Why shove them away any faster then they have to be. Pretty soon they are 10yr old's telling us the GPS is wrong and we should have taken the other road... and they are right. Let them be kids for as long as possible.

3. A safe haven

We have always wanted our bed to be as safe haven for the kids to feel like they can come to when they are scared, have a nightmare, a place they can come and talk with out judgement. After 3 kids (soon 4) we see that is the case. Our oldest (8) just fractured his toes and was waking up in pain needing us to give him arnica or pain medication. This is my very independent, 'I have life all figured out child', but when he got hurt he didn't hesitate to ask "Can I sleep on your floor?" He did, and we all got better sleep too.

4. Let them choose when to go

For us we had seen that the oldest 2 boys were a pair, even thought they were 2yrs 4 months apart the youngest did what the oldest did. So when we put the twin mattress on the floor as as a suggestion, because now there were 4 of us in a king size bed, the oldest only went when they youngest did. They transferred there together, when they chose to do so. And when they woke up at 2am and wanted to get back in our bed we were ok with that. The 2am got pushed to 4am which changed to 5am and then to 7am. Eventually on their own they stayed in the bed longer and longer every night. Till they enjoyed having their own bed! They were excited about it and wanted super hero sheets. So they slept on the floor in our room up till the 3rd baby came along. Then they wanted to be there when he woke up and wanted to help with him. It was a family project when baby #3 came. I needed the help and they loved snuggling with the baby. Eventually one day when baby #3 was about 3 months old the older 2 decided it was time to move out. I woke up to their twin mattress on its side being walked out to the play room across the house. They said "Mom we want to sleep in the play room", "ok fine by me". And that was it, they were gone, at 5yrs old and 3yrs old they decided it was time to go. So they went.

So my 2 cents? go with that mommy instinct and let them be little. Cuddle, nurse, snuggle and hold those little babies as long as you want. They will be independent soon enough and leave your bed when they want.